The Fred and Tan Show: Running, Jogging, Slogging, Trotting and Other Forms of Locomotion

Tom: "The difference between running and jogging is the race application. If you never run in a race, you are a jogger."

Mom: "That's just arbitrary and capricious."

Dad: "Here's the difference between jogging and slogging: Over 12 minutes a mile and you're a slogger.

Mom: "That's just arbitrary and capricious too."

Tom: I don't like when people say, 'oh, you were out jogging.' I want to be a runner."

Mom: "If you only go out once a week, you are not a runner or jogger. You're nothing."

Dad: "This is really complicated and too complex to be decided now. We need to conduct a survey. When we see someone locomoting down the road, we pull up and we ask. 'What are you doing?'"

Mom: "No one is going to admit they are slogging. Who the hell would say, 'I'm out here slogging.' I would be very insulted."

Mom: "Even though it has lipstick on it, that glass is not mine. Someone else was drinking out of it and it is no longer mine although it was mine earlier."

Dad: "What is trotting?"

Mom: "Trotting? That's on a horse. If a human is trotting, it means something else."

Dad: "Ken Cooper, MD, the father of aerobic exercise, says if you run over 15 miles a week, you are running for something other than fitness."